A Wolf in Sheep's Clothing
Those dark academia vibes are seducing, man, how was I supposed to know it'd kill me?
You don’t know this, but as I will remind you now and throughout the newsletter, I have been extraneously EXHAUSTED for the past two weeks. I’m talking could sleep for days EXHAUSTED, could float in a pool in blissful ignorance EXHAUSTED (not true; I can’t swim, or float), Koa trying to kill Astrid EXHAUSTED -
Wait, hold on -
Hey, hey, listen to me. They’re blood rivals, okay? You’re gonna have to deal with a lot of that throughout this journey with the story, right; so don’t give me that face. My feelings are gonna be way more hurt than Koa’s did when Astrid used his mummy issues against him when they were like 9 -
BUT we’re making a big deal out of nothing now. Because this week we’re not even gonna be talking Koa through therapy, no, we are steering our focus onto the other manipulator instead; cause you know what they say: manipulation is a contagious disease. Astrid’s, in her case, just happens to be more a contagion of the mind, body, and spirit than history.
I hope you’ve got your pearls clutched, kids, because we’re visiting the psych ward.
Okay, no, not really, we’re just, analysing some stolen, top-secret documents.
Nope, that doesn’t sound any better - okay, CUT. MOVING ON.
*Deep breaths*… where do I begin?
This has been a long two weeks, and I think the best way I can describe my process right now is through this little chart that I posted on my close friends a while back on how I’m faring with the story so far, and I can confirm, we’re inching ever closer to tricky waters. And unfortunately for The Deathless, none of them have nautical senses — maybe there’s an idea to turn the galaxy into liquid, but I am going to refrain myself from that mindf*ck before we fall into Project Symphony-despair.
To pick up where we left off, I pretty much just confirmed that I am going to pursue the project as a duology now, and hope I don’t have to do too much damage control if anything errs sideways. But, I have grown from my mistakes, so before I could even start fantasising over what book 2’s plot is gonna be, I have to know for certain what book 1’s plot really is; which, if you’re on my close friends, you know how that went.
Listen, I’m Asian; yelling at myself is the best way to get something worthwhile out of me.
But the problems I’m currently facing is still very different from Symphony. With Deathless, it’s a lot more apparent that I more or less have the pieces of the puzzle right in front of me, and now I’m just trying to figure out the puzzle with what I’ve got. It could go this way, or it could go that way, or it could go that way. But they’re not exhaustive problems, is what I’m getting at. So even though I’m sloughing away with the components that need polishing, components that could lead to other avenues of ideas and problems alike, it’s still somewhat contained, and thus easier for me to work through the story without feeling dejected EVERYTIME I open up my Notion or Scrivener.
But I’ll spare you my theatrics and give it you straight:
I started off with doing a (more organised and detailed) Third Rough Plan for the story, and was quite surprised at how much changed from the Second Rough Plan; I was genuinely sure they were essentially the same with some tweaks, but not quite anymore. And in any case, I’m much more confident in the third rendition as it’s looking more and more like what I was aiming for. And for the components that did not change, it was good to reinforce those tools in my mind as I continue tinkering away at the story’s core
My first main set to really look through was The Villain’s Plan, who I’m pretty sure I’ve not named yet, but even if I did, you’ll forget it enough to be surprised as I unravel more and more as we go. My main issue with this section is the smaller picture, the details. Because right now, I’m not entirely sure what the step-by-step outline/plan of their villainy is. And I sort of need to if I’m gonna not just make the book 1 mystery and build up work, but for the whole of book 2 to work, more or less. And so far, we’ve not got very far yet in those endeavours besides reinforcing the foundations, the initial ideas, and setting down some questions to kick off with.
Which leads to my second and final (for now) set to solidify: Astrid herself. As I’ve been writing Catori’s backstory, I’ve not just been developing her but also the other side character, since he has a stake in Catori’s backstory. And what I got was this very serious, full-blown, hero-and-heroine level sort of story driving force. Essentially, the rest of them have very solid motives and goals that give them more Main Character energy than the main-MAIN character. I didn’t want to change Astrid’s fundamentals into something more “befitting that status”, nor did I want to change Catori and the other character’s because it made sense that it be so, for both their trajectories and the story’s. So that leaves me with only one real choice:
suffer and scream and curse at the skyput my brain to elevating Astrid’s fundamental inner conflict; to think up ways to infuse the world, community, and hardships she can face that would sharpen all the fears, and desires, and motives. And I’m glad to announce we have a hit.
We will go through a little on that last part in a while, but you know, nothing at this stage is quite fixed yet in terms of backstory; but the intended, lingering effects upon her character arc does not suffer the same fate. Personally, I am quite pleased with how things turned out, cause if anything, it definitely brought about stronger clarity to Astrid’s character and why she really is undergoing these conflicts and why she needs to surpass them and why this would help her grow into and along the storyline.
I did mention in a previous newsletter how Astrid’s character stood out among the rest of the main five, because it demanded simpler things from her instead of “saving the world” or “changing fate” or “gaining personal glory”, she is quite very much fighting to stay in her comfort zone, and to kill off the parasitic being in her. And tinkering with her character this past week brought me closer to really capturing that than before, and I definitely feel more confident about her reasons, and why she feels the need to be this way.
Again, I can feel the many, minuscule pieces in my hands; I’m only left with finishing the final picture. And for my sake, I do hope I get the answers I want and need sooner rather than later, given this is a crucial part of the story that should be locked in by now, and because I think I’d go stir-crazy if I had to sit through with her and talk her out of her misery, even though we both know it’s not happening.
I mean, I’ve got no magic, but at this rate, I should do an analysis sheet on myself and add it in as an extra-exclusive, extra-bonus sneak. I’ve got 11 ripe-young adults to psycho-analysis for you; if you’re not depresso together, can you really say you’re expresso to be together?
(I’m tired, don’t call me out.)
You know what they say: magic is in the air. And for the inhabitants of stars across the vast universe that have been granted such power, that is especially true (and which you can read all about in my latest Insta post introducing the bare bones of Project Deathless’ magic system!). And though we are not so fortunate to be granted a candidacy with the Deathless society to learn all about the peculiarities of star-magic in Advanced Magic Anatomy, we can in fact, feast our eyes on the report files on our Deathless Eleven, which I may or may not have stolen from the archives of Klatrine Lezorseth Academy of the Arcane.
But who’s gonna know, am I right?
Yes, I have finally got my shit together and made good on my promises on the long-awaited Magic Analysis report sheet on Astrid, an exclusive bonus that you get to keep as a subscriber to my wonderful newsletter, and as promised, we will have more to come. So yes, you can in fact, collect these report sheets like Pokemon cards in a nice little folder for your pleasure.
Will you get anything if you collect all of them? Why, you reap what you sow, after all ;)
But more on that, when we get to that. This is something new I’m planning as a further incentive and bonus since I’ve been a bit slow in providing them lately. You might get a grand prize, or you may secure a spot in a special giveaway. So you get to have exclusive sneaks and bonuses, AND you may get to collect on a big prize in the end. The possibilities are truly endless.
I’m running this newsletter like a lottery office <3
As it should be. You’ve got me siphoning precious documents over here. I’m not just talking about social scandal; I’m talking about a political scandal, the kind of information that would break a community that prized themselves on expectation & perfection; and to break the illusion, is to break the sanctity they’ve fortified around them for millenium, for eons.
And for Legacy Heiress Astrid Evermore, protecting her image is protecting her life, and she’ll do whatever she can to dissolve the secrets that could destroy her from existence. Read with caution, dear reader; there is always a wolf hiding in sheep’s clothing, and you best take care that it doesn’t find you.
DOWNLOAD YOUR COPY OF ASTRID'S MAGIC ANALYSIS!
As much as I pore over writing notes and ramblings in my newsletter, part of me did want to offer this place as a way for me to make my presence better known to my readers — outside of being the author who still has not finished the Episode mafia story she started when she was 17, and outside of being the author who cannot shake the haunting of a girl with a lyre, a demon pirate, and a prince that needs therapy.
But I mean this sincerely when I say my life for the longest time has been quite uneventful ever since the last year, and so, I don’t really have much opportunity to talk about my personal life and really express myself and share my life with you guys, which has been a topic in demand for quite some time, given I’m not for posting about it on my socials.
So I was thinking, if you are for it, to add a new layer to my “Updates on My Life” segment, where I will draw up a random year, month, and day (if we want to get specific), and I will pick one photo from that moment of my life, and talk about that moment. I thought this way, I could actually share something about my life for you to know me better in a way that feels like we’re sitting in a cozy sitting room reminiscing over times long-lost, and for us to connect over something beyond our shared understanding and appreciation for books and writing.
But of course, if you’re fine without it, that’s fine too, we can come up with something else. So if you would be interested to read about me dissecting my most embarrassing stories and moments, do vote below so I know you want this to happen!
But to officially bring us to a close; I hope your reading and writing goals have been faring better than mine, and I hope both sides of your pillow are cool and icy for (more than) a good night’s rest. Because I definitely need it after this exhausting period, and I suspect it will only get more intense from here on out. Have a great weekend, guys, and see you in the next one! <3